The Lesson Plan

To warm up my students for our discussion of history, we played a simple game where the entire class would contribute to writing one story on the board. Each student would come up front and add three words at a time. I only had two instructions: anything can happen as long as the focus remains on the main character which they will name, and that no matter what happens, the character should die by the end of the story.I designed this to teach them how history is all about looking back. The story may not make sense as we write it — just like life! — but we can all make sense out of it at the end. This was also my way of introducing the concepts of continuity and contingency, both from The Science of History.

Their stories follow below.

(NOTE: Some details may have been changed or *bleeped* for security reasons. )

ADELFA – “Killing Bob”

In a distant / place he was / thinking deeply about / a flower in / a garden called / “The Garden”. Then / he discovered that / he was played / by the Great / dog of his / friend, the warrior / Gaylord. He had / a *bleep* relationship / with a plastic / contraceptive he got / from a mutilated / *bleep* of a / *bleep*. He took / the *bleep* into / Rm.326. They ate / the liver of / a big Jelor / which had a / Chinese fetus. Suddenly / he did something.

He *bleep* with / a male servant / whose acidic urine / and other fluids / made him thirsty. / Unexpectedly, he died.

CAMIA – “Killing Matros”

In another dimension / mother meets father. / That night was / cold and they / want to… YAY! / After 9 months, / Matros was born. / They wanted to / make Matros a / homosexual with a / long hair but / he cut it. / He ate icecream. / It made him / happy and gay. / Yet he was / not yet satisfied. / In the bathroom, / he met someone / named Escherichia coli. / The pilus hardened / he ate candy / with ecstasy, cocaine / and he triangulated. / He accidentally hit / his hard head / on the sink / fell unconscious, then / he started to / stab himself with / an ICBM… BOOM!

DAHLIA – “Killing Batista”

After a suplex / Batista screamed. He / attacked Kokey in / the joystick. Kokey / became angry and / licked Batista’s lollipop. / Then Jess came. / Then Batista approached / Lennart Panton however / he died. Then / Jess asked Kokey / if he was / single. Jess said, / “I already licked / Batista’s lollipop.” And / gazed longingly at / Batista’s very itchy / hair in the / head. Jess became / excited… but unsatisfied / because he knew / there’s more hair / on his legs. / Then Castro won / Dark Lennart award. / Batista was bathing / and Jess joined. / He bit Batista / on his neck / and was hurt. / Then Batista imploded.

ILANG-ILANG – “Killing Austin”

In a galaxy / where Austin exists / there was a / guy named Austin. /He looks like / a goose that / is very constipated. / He wanted to / do something about / excreting some of / the toxic wastes / which he kept / in an incubator, / so he asked / the beautiful Liv / who was a / human unlike him. / He liked her / so he did / something very disgusting, / like eating Liv’s / set of E. coli. / After he ate, / he inserted his / bunsen burner in / the center of / his pink room / which then exploded. / He was bbqed. / Fortunately, he died / because of AIDS.

ROSAL – “Killing Virginia Castro”

It all began / when Virginia Castro / married Jason. They / were very happy. / They had a. / Very long ago / they met each / other. They aborted / their dog, Goma. / After that, Goma / died after being / brutally tortured using / Caballes’ two fingers! / Virginia and Jason / desperately tried to / get a soothing / biologically important activity. / Back to future / they adopted a / house, which was / full of magical / weapons and charms. / They found a / grenade launcher, which / is useful for / taking out the / trash. The grenade / was used by / Jason’s stupid wife. / After that, Virginia / decides to die.

Insanity much? Vote for your favorite!